


The price of self-discovery

by Bigou



Category: Marvel, Marvel Ultimate Universe, Spider-Man (Ultimateverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Trans, English ISN'T the author first language, English ISN'T the author main language, Gay!Jessica Drew (Ultimate), Gay!Jessica Drew (Ultimateverse), Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Genetically Engineered Beings, Genetically Enhanced Beings, Identity Issues, One-Shot, Sexual Identity, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, TransGirl!Peter Parker (Ultimate), TransGirl!Peter Parker (Ultimateverse), TransGirl!Peter Parker - Freeform, short one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4830509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigou/pseuds/Bigou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Marvel's “Ultimate universe”, Jessica Drew accepted being a woman a bit too easily for a clone initially programed with the mind and memories of Spider-man.</p><p>How would you explain it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The price of self-discovery

**Author's Note:**

> **Please, understand that English ISN'T what I speak in my everyday life.** _So please, instead of simply stop reading if I mangled it too much, explain what I did wrong in comments, thanks._

At first, when Peter Parker met Jessica Drew, his female clone, her existence alone was enough for him to be weired-out. Okay, that was the second time he met her, the first he was far to panicked over Mary-Jane's disappearance he irrational, hysteric even.

The next time, Jessica seemed perfectly comfortable with her gender, and he didn't even pose to wonder how that was possible. (And neither did she, either.)

It's only after his pal Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, manifested an interest in dating Spider-woman that things changed. Sure, right back then he was convinced it was only weirdness of one of his best-friends wanting date _his **clone**_ that made him react so strongly. But when he got time to cool of a bit…

At first, he started to think that he may be gay, that maybe he wanted Johnny to look at **him** this way, to be **his** boyfriend! But then, without knowing why, Peter started to think of Jessica.

Somehow, Spider-woman seemed perfectly at home in her female body. In fact, even when he first truly spoke with her, she was raging about not having a past beside memories of his own far much that she was about being a girl. And even her few words about her womanhood sounded more like _‘Because of you, I know nothing about being a girl!’_ than _‘If only I was (still) a boy…’_

Finally, Peter realized he **did** want Johnny to look at him like he looked at girls, but **not** for the reasons he through. The truth of the matter? The Torch is a known womanizer, and him looking at you like that could only mean a thing: _**He's seeing you as a girl** , and thus want you in his bed._

Like a sudden illumination, this self-discovery made Peter something else about _her_ , namely that what made things so hard with the three girlfriends _she_ ever had so far. While _she_ loved all of them dearly, (even if she wasn't sure which one she truly loved as more than a friend or a sister) said love was tainted by _her_ jealousy of their body, of the fact they were as female on the outside than _she_ was on the inside, unlike **her**.

Of course, all this thinking took far more time than you needed to read this up to that point, and the young _miss_ Parker needed even more time to decide who she should discuss this with, how to say it… And, even, if she really should speak of it, or just try to ignore the problem altogether.

In the end she chooses to contact Spider-woman, thinking “If someone can understand me, it's probably Jess.” She was probably right, with how often Jessica must have wondered if she truly was a woman, albeit one with **borrowed** childhood memory in which she's a _boy_ ; or a man trapped in a feminine body, trying to convince herself she truly turned native.

After hearing all of Spider- _man_ mental struggles, Jessica hugged her new found _sister_ against her, trying to comfort her. (Must not have been easy, especially while trying to think what it could mean about her own identity issues.) The two stayed like this a long time, the transgendered one crying on her clone's shoulder.

When finally, the girl still known a _Peter_ stopped crying, her sister asked this disturbing question: “How should we call you now, _sis_?”

But said sister didn't think that far. “Wha… What do you mean? Why did you… Did you call me **sis**?!?”

“Because that's how I see us, as siblings. And since we established you're as much of a _girl_ than me, your body notwithstanding, we can't call yourself **Peter** anymore, can we?” Then, seeing the look of horror and worry on her sister's face despite the mask, Spider-woman added. “Take all the time you need to choose your new name, one that will make you proud to hear when someone is calling you. It's important, the first step toward rebuilding yourself…”

To miss Parker, her sister sounded like she had some regrets over her own choice in name…

**Author's Note:**

> That's something that always bothered me in the Ultimate universe…  
> Since she started her life as, mentally speaking, a forcefully gender-changed Peter Parker; how Spider-woman isn't transgender?
> 
> Some of you would say that Dr. Octopus already messed with both her sexuality and gender identity, all this without touching her memory, hence Jessica Drew ending as a heterosexual woman.  
> But even then, shouldn't she find strange not having much problems with her body being female, or wanting to date men?


End file.
